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Lay off the Tiger!

Posted on: Sunday, December 20th, 2009

News of what the Tiger has been doing off the green has hit the news and gained a lot of attention. One interviewee expressed on television, when asked about his reaction, ‘I have only known Tiger the golfer and not really Tiger the man, so I am not in any way disillusioned.’ Some say, it is impossible to separate the man from the golfer. Some say the man is still the same, has been and always will be – what’s the big deal? I’m of the opinion that Tiger and his family will sort out their issues, I can only focus on my own.

‘We built him up, now we are taking him down.’ A friend expressed regarding Tiger’s image. On second thought, he said, ‘the media built him up, now they are taking him down.’ There is a strange phenomenon where we expect that the elite will not be human after all. If they do display human tendencies we can be more strict and less forgiving. Is that what Tiger needs right now, some slack? Many would contend he’s had too much already. I don’t know whether it makes a difference to him, but for us it does. Our attention could better be served in discovering the ways that enriching and developing our relationships could help make them affair-proof.

Fear can easily creep in – if the Tiger is doing it, what chance do I have? How will my relationship survive? While getting on the slippery slope towards an affair begins with the first step, not all smoke leads to a fire. Focusing on the relationship and seeking to increase fondness and admiration may help both parties retract their steps and get back on course. Addressing issues head-on and asking whether the system that exists allows both of you to feel your needs are being met and your values respected. Compromise so that you can live with the outcome carrying no resentment in your heart. And like a friend shared, ‘be disciplined to keep track of the wonderful things!’

You can start with a simple quiz to find out how well you know your partner.

2 Responses to “Lay off the Tiger!”

  1. On December 20th, 2009, Janet said:


    ‘We built him up, now we are taking him down.’
    Might this comment be true?
    Considering who he married and how he did-might the whole marriage have been part of the above statement ?
    If Tiger and his wife came to you for advice, how would you handle the matter?

  2. On December 28th, 2009, Charles said:


    Hi Janet,

    Thank you for your comment.

    If Tiger and his wife came to me for advice…I’d get a picture taken and retire and live off the royalties! 🙂

    Seriously, I would help them establish a workable goal (assuming they want to keep the relationship). We would then address the relationship wound caused by the betrayal(s). We would learn how to have ‘healing conversations’ where Tiger takes responsibility for what he did with no blame to anyone else and is apologetic.

    There is always a context – the state of the union apart from the acts of betrayal. This would be our next focus after his wife and he feel they have addressed and have a way to keep addressing the betrayal(s).

    Any thoughts?