Posted on: Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018
The experience of remarried couples is sometimes a sense of failure from the breakdown of the first marriage and this leads to caution exhibited in remarrying. It is important not to treat a second marriage as plan B.
Statistics show that 40% – 65% of families in the US and Canada have a child who is not biologically related to one of the adults at home, 75% of divorced people will remarry and 30% will do so within a year of the divorce. With a 50% divorce rate, newly remarried couples are coming together more frequently than ever and enter the relationship with one or both already having children.
If we consider ‘failure’ to be defined as giving up, then those who go on to re-marry are to be considered people who are focused on success. A second marriage can be the place to have more success and to experience better relationships. Decide that you are going to grow and mature into the marriage and work to build around this goal. Here are a few more tips:
- Learn from the failures of the first marriage– you obviously brought some of the reasons why it did not work out. Own your part and learn to be and do better in a healthy way.
- Be aware there will be challenges in the new blended family but don’t assume all challenges are a result of the blended family– take an objective look at the issues and tackle them accordingly.
- Limit expectations that everything is going to be all right once you get married– look long term; spend quality time with each person in the blended family while trying not to compensate for anything that is not present in a traditional family.
- Take a workshopor read a book– learn how to handle the unique challenges of a blended family while nurturing the relationship in your second marriage.
You may just be starting a new blended family or considering what the experience will be like once you both move in together and the kids come over. You may have been together for several years and can still relate to some of the above challenges and the many more that are unique to stepfamilies. If you are having challenges navigating with parenting, conflict, feeling stuck or frustrated, a family counsellor at Journey can help. Call today to book an appointment or book online now!
Register for a 6-week workshop for couples and individuals in stepfamily relationships. Spend 2 hours each session learning how stepfamilies are different from traditional families.