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The Upside of Jealousy

Posted on: Monday, October 20th, 2014

If the emotions were a sports team, jealousy would be among the last to be picked. People don’t like to admit to jealousy. Why is this? Is it that we are all happy all the time for the good fortune in the lives of our friends and co-workers? Ideally, the answer would be yes, however, even the kindest person occasionally feels a pang of envy.

Though we all experience the emotion of jealousy, there is a certain shame about expressing it. In expressing jealousy we are admitting that we feel incomplete or incompetent in comparison to others. Some people may feel that in admitting jealousy they are unveiling their insecurities and leaving themselves vulnerable.

Jealousy, however, can be viewed in a more positive manner. It can be seen as a road map to our fears and desires. The next time you hear the hiss in your ear saying, “I want what they have”, stop and take a moment to reflect. If you’re able to take a step back and consider what it means that you feel so strongly about someone else’s situation, you might be given a golden opportunity to resurface a dream which has long been buried.

An important first step is to acknowledge that we feel something is lacking, or that something could be improved in our own lives. For instance, if we find ourselves muttering underhanded comments about our friends’ 10 year long, and yet still very romantic marriage, perhaps it’s that we’re missing the intimacy and romantic element in our own relationship. The best way to approach any kind of change in our lives is in small steps. In this situation, a first small step could be something like talking to our partner about this desire. In acknowledging our jealousy, we are taking the step of addressing our needs and that can lead to positive change.

Ask yourself:

  • Of what, specifically, am I jealous?
  • Why am I envious of my friend/sibling/coworker in this particular thing?
  • What is a small step that I could take to move in that direction?

Don’t lose the opportunity to take advantage of the message jealousy reveals. If you need support to achieve those dreams, give us a call or contact us online and let’s find a way to make those dreams come true.

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