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Where is the Relationship Break Down?

Posted on: Thursday, March 18th, 2010

The number one topic of concern when couples call for therapy is ‘communication’. Several complaints tend to follow… ‘we start a conversation and it breaks down into an argument. It could be about anything’.

I have found the break down tends to be in five areas: Money, Sex, In-Laws, Parenting & Chores, in no particular order.

You may have guessed that these areas represent significant areas of interaction in a couples’ relationship especially when kids are present. What to do with money, how many times to have sex, not spending enough time with their in-laws, kids listening to one parent more and someone procrastinating about the chores. The list could be endless and very different for each couple. One set-up could be a problem in one relationship and yet works well in another. It’s the values behind the topic.

No matter what the problems are, you want to come out with three improvements.

•        Talk about the topic of $, sex, in-laws, parenting and chores. No topic should be a non-topic. If it’s important enough for your partner, it’s important enough to talk about it.
•        Come up with a system that works for both of you in each area. It could mean sex three times a week for one couple and three times a month for another. 
•         Ensure that the system you have come up with reflects sufficient amounts of what you both value and believe in.  A blend of both, like a good coffee!

One Response to “Where is the Relationship Break Down?”

  1. On March 21st, 2010, Harry Farrell said:


    Hi Charles,

    I love the web-site! The blog is an awesome idea as well. Definitely five areas that need to be talked about and not suppressed.

    Harry