Have you wondered what it would take to not feel so bad?
Any offering of quick and easy solutions is out of the question, because becoming happy is not an outcome or goal to be achieved in a direct way. There are many layers. It is a complicated thing. Nevertheless, it is possible to practice and experience being happy.
First, if we desire to be happy, we must be willing to change our attitude. Our brains are wired to notice the negative things, bad news, hurtful, disappointing, and unpleasant things. Our brains do this to save us from the same experience the next time. This is called the ‘negativity bias.’ Our brains are not as strongly wired to notice what works, the pleasant things, the silver linings or good news.
We can counter the negativity bias by noticing, lingering, appreciating, and taking in the positive moments as they happen and later on in reflection.
Life is full of these positive moments, a near accident that is averted, rain in the summer, goals achieved, a warm meal. The positive moments could be the outcome of our own efforts such as a good night’s sleep or circumstances beyond our control like another checkout counter opening, cutting our waiting time in the store lineup in half.
Taking a moment to observe it as it happens, to relish and enjoy the positive things that are going well, the good news as we hear it, the successes that we achieve, the fresh smell of baked bread or of roses. This practice to scan for the positives, to taste and experience what is working will contribute to being happy.
But what if things are not working? This is the normal state of life. However, amid things not working are a thousand positives. If we can find them and experience them, and linger on them, we have begun to win this fight and achieve the goal of not feeling so bad.
Stay tuned for more on happiness and how to achieve it!
